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幽默笑话
A cashier sat near the entrance of a bank. Every day people came
in to ask him the time. Finally, he couldn't bear it anymore, so
(10/21/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]
Bring Me The Winner
Once, a fellow went into a restaurant and ordered a two-pound lobster.
(08/09/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]

A strange call
A Chicago family was having dinner when the phone rung. The maid answered and said, "It sure is!" and hung up. The same thing happened five minutes later." What's going on?" asked the father.
"Some crackpot, " explained the maid, "keeps calling to say, "It's long distance f
(07/20/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]
The Best Stimulant
(Originally in English)
A patient said to his doctor, "Doc, please give me something
that will stimulate me, excite me, and put me
in a, very, very highly stimulated spirit, a fighting, excited spirit."
So the doctor said, "Don't worry, take this, and
after you see the bill, you will have all th
(07/19/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]
 a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?"
  asked the friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."
         百万富翁
  “我把丈夫变成了一个百万富翁。”一个女人告诉她的朋友。
  “那他结婚前是什么样的呢?”朋友问。
  “那时他是个千万富翁。”
(07/19/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]
I Love You, Too
Boyfriend: I'm not rich and don't have a yacht or convertible like Harry,but I love you, dear.
Girlfriend: I love you, too. But tell me more about Harry.
我也爱你
男朋友:虽然我不象哈里那样有豪华游艇和舒适的生活,但是我爱你,亲爱的。
女朋友:我也爱你。不过你能否告诉我有关哈里的一些情况呢?
(07/19/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]
  A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
  精明的家庭主妇
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋,说:“那太好了!一个炉子可以省
(07/19/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]

An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle
Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost £50, so he went to the shop to have a look.
After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, "There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicy
(07/19/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]

Friend for Dinner
"Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a fri
(07/18/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]

Be Much Worse
Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
可能更糟
警察:当你的手表被抢的时候,你为什么不大声喊叫呢?
男士:如果我张嘴喊叫,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那样情况就更糟了!
(07/18/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]

The Lost Purse
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied,
(07/18/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]
Two Brothers
Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of their mother.
    "You ask her," said Paul, age ten. "No," said Roy, age nine, "You ask her, you have known her longer than I have."
两兄弟
两个小男孩想找他们的母亲帮忙。
   “你去找她。”十岁的保罗说。
   “不,”九岁的罗伊说,“你去,你比我更早认识她。”
(07/18/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]
"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"
" Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."
"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."
保证没走错
在一家电影院里,一名观众在演出期间站了起来,沿着他那排位子走到休息室去了。几分钟后,他回到那排位子并问坐在首位的那位男士道:
“对不起,请问我刚才出去的时候是踩着你
(07/18/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]

Good Calculation   
"I am sorry, madam, but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth."   "Twenty dollars! Why, I understood you to say that you charged on ly four dollars for such work!" "Yes." replied the dentist, "but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the offic
(07/18/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."
His wife looked at h
(07/18/2012 00:00:00) [查看全文]
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